December 21st, 1999 misinformer.com Christmas Cards By Marcus It's the week before Christmas, and all through the house, While cards are arriving, you're clicking your mouse. Cards from well-wishers bombarding your home while you wish that they all would just leave you alone. "It's stupid, it's shallow," is just what you said, "to send cards to people I'd sooner see dead, although it's Christmas, I still find it hard, To leave my computer to buy these jerks cards." Or maybe you just can't find time in your capers, to waste at the store buying folded up papers. You could be a hippie who shouts in frustration, "I will not contribute to deforestation!" Whatever your problem, whatever your issues, The Misinformants are here with virtual tissues. Our cards are all digital, they don't hurt the trees And perhaps best of all, they're bra-burning free. So if you're a grinch, or if you are crazy, of if you're incredibly nice, but just lazy, all of your friends will think you're da bomb, when you send them a card from misinformer.com. May your holiday blues be acquitted - O.J. Simpson At the dawn of the new millennium, it's nice to get holiday greetings from one of the most important figures of the last one thousand years. Pried off the trail of the "real" murderer long enough for our exclusive photo shoot, O.J. is now ready to hand you this attractive Christmas ham. It's the Chupacabra, Charlie Brown! From Puerto Rico into our hearts, that lovable "goat sucker" is back to bring a little bit of mythological class to your holiday season. Happy Holidays to You and Yours from the Cast of Charles in Charge Remember when you used to watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, and before the commercials they would show the cast of one of your favorite shows surrounded with kitchy superimposed holly? They would all look into the camera, and with well-practiced smiles yell, "Merry Christmas to you and yours from the cast of The Dukes of Hazzard!" Well I got my sorry ass out of bed this year and watched the parade, and was there any of that? No sir, just Katie Couric making out with Al Roker under the mistletoe. Ewww. Merry Fishmas! "Do these fish make my butt look big?" This image is from an old issue of National Geographic. I don't remember the specifics of it, but it has to do with some kind of sacred "fish dance." Anyway, the expression on the kid's face pretty much says it all. All content © 1999-2007 misinformer.com.   Why am I such a misfit?