Question: What's
the best thing about talking to people online?
Answer: Secretly prying into their private lives, without them knowing
about it!
Here's the New Look!
Just download and install the plugin, and you're
on your way into everyone else's private lives!
The Taunt Menu Item...
One of the most impressive new features is the
Taunt menu option.
Nothing helps automate the annoying grunt work of stalking like
Instant Messenger - Stalker Edition. Let it take over for you,
while you spend your precious time scoping out new "follows."
Let's go over some of the new features you can look forward
to!
Old Standbys:
IM: Still fully-functional, and quite capable of
being annoying!
Chat: Talk with stalkers, share war stories,
and cry together.
Talk: Yeah right, nobody actually wants to hear your
voice.
New Features:
Scope: Pour through confidential background info
on your stalkee of choice. No holds barred here. See credit card
numbers, surveillance photos, hobbies, interests, and criminal
reports.
Prod: You've never seen annoyment like this! Prod
can help you gauge exactly when and how to throw your jabs,
at times when they'll have the most impact! Now they'll really
want you... to drop dead!
Flash: Easy enough. Just scan in some naked photos
of yourself, and start flashin'! Don't have a scanner? Simply
choose from our extensive online library!
In a joint cooperative
blackmailing of the CIA and the FBI by America Online, the unveiling
of Instant Messenger - Stalker Edition has become a sweeping success
in the lives of many total introverts. Now people who can't pull themselves
away from their computers long enough to relieve themselves, but still
want to stalk like the rest of us, can finally plug in and have meaningful
lives.
You won't believe
all the info you can gain about a person through our plugin! Here's
some comments from some very "stalkative" beta-testers:
"Wow!
I can't believe all the info I can gain about a person through their
plugin!" - Jimbo132
"I looked
myself up in the program once, and I found out horrible things I forgot
I had even done! Tell a lie enough times, you start to believe it, but
the info I was able to find about myself reintroduced me to the truth
about my depraved childhood!" - InnocentMan7
"I've
been in love with a girl named Julie for a really long time now. Thanks
to Instant Messenger - Stalker Edition, she knows my name! It's on her
restraining order!!!" - Cubby
"Me
and my friend 'biteME' have a race going to see who can rack up the
most warning points. He's winning right now, but I just met a real bitch
online. I ain't leavin' her alone till my warning level hits 100, and
I can't even sign on!" - misinformant
With all this wonderful feedback, how can you resist downloading the
beta version of our plugin immediately? You can't. The answer is simply
that you can't. We know, because we've been watching you for quite some
time now. We know all about what you do on the Internet. Oh yes,
and it doesn't paint a pretty picture.
(Preview requires the FLASH
plugin - we'd like to create a link to it, but it'd take too much
time, and we've got a lot of girls - and some guys - to keep track
of, so good luck finding it if you don't have the plugin, and if
you do, enjoy the preview!)
