July 23rd, 2001 I've noticed that in recent times, Canada has been getting the shaft in American entertainment. From South Park's "Blame Canada" to the Family Guy declaring that "Canada sucks," it seems that everyone is feeling the need to take a potshot at our great neighbors to the North. Confused, and with a whole mess of frequent flyer miles about to expire, misinformer's own Editor in Chief and his very tolerant girlfriend took off for the land of maple syrup and Michael J. Fox to do a little bit of comedy field research that we're calling... What's up with Canada? A misinformer.com investigative report By Marcus As any good researcher knows, in order to fully study the bizarre habits and customs of a people, you must first earn their trust, and be accepted into their ranks as an equal. To this end, we consulted misinformer's resident expert on all things Canadian, Timb the Enchanter. "Here, just wear these and you'll blend right in," he said, tossing aside an assortment of latex thongs and pulling some coats from the bottom of his fetish filled closet. "Canadians are pretty skittish, but if you don't make a lot of noise, you should be able to get pretty close to a few of them in these." We weren't north of the border for five minutes before we were accosted by Canadian law enforcement. Marcus: Howdy! Cop: Did you say "howdy?" Amanda: He means, "Howdy, eh?" your Canadian Baconhood. Cop: Look, I understand that you folks are tourists and you're just trying to have a little fun, but... Marcus: What makes you think that we're tourists, eh? We're just a couple of locals, out, or should I say, oot for a little walk in our home and native land, eh? Amanda: I think the queen KICKS ASS, eh! Cop: If you're Canadian citizens, then you no doubt know that impersonating an officer is a prosecutable offense in Ontario. Marcus: A ha! Ha ha ha! Oh, no, I wasn't impersonating you, I was just speaking in this crazy, whacked out accent that I share with all of my Canadian brothers, eh you hoser? Cop: Oh for God's... the Mountie uniforms, you American morons. Royal Canadian Mounted Police. Amanda: Hold on, you're saying that these Brendan Fraser getups are Canadian Police uniforms? Cop: Certain police, yes. Now I'm going to let you go with a warning this time, since you are both stupid Statesiders, and you don't have any horses with you... Marcus: Wait! Wait! He he he he! So you're saying that your police not only wear these giant goofy hats, but they also ride horses? Ha hahahaha! Oh, you kanuks are just too much. Hoohoohoohoo! So we spent the first night in Canadian prison.     Next > All content © 1999-2007 misinformer.com.   Maple sugar candy makes me puke.