misinformer's hiatus archive - February 2002 Featuring: iBrowse, Does Marcus look like Sarah Hughes? Wednesday, February 20, 2002 [ 7:22 PM | Marcus Alexander Hart ] I was looking at a billboard for those cute new iMacs the other day, and I started to wonder... The "i" in "iMac" stands for "internet" right? At least, at the beginning of its fruit flavored career it did. I think. Now Apple just slaps the "i" on everything, as if it has a patent on the lower case version of that particular letter. Like the iPod. What does the iPod have to do with the internet? I mean, sure, you get all of your music illegally from the internet, then you put it on your iPod, but the connection still seems kind of shaky. Anyway, back to my original point. If Apple can make a computer especially for using the internet, why can't it make its own web browser? My girlfriend just bought an iBook, and amongst iMovie and iTunes and iPhoto and iTools, was Microsoft Internet Explorer. The enemy's browser. The Man's browser. I thought this was very strange at first, but then I figured it out. If Apple made a web browser, they'd have to call it iBrowse. After unveiling it, they'd spend the next two years having to read "clever" headlines like "Apple plucks its iBrowse," and "Apple's new internet software raises some iBrowse." Thanks, Apple, for sparing us. Friday, February 22, 2002 [ 9:00 PM | Marcus Alexander Hart ] Today my friend Lee told me that if I took off my glasses and frosted my hair that I could pass for Olympic Gold Medallist Sarah Hughes. I was unconvinced, but strangely flattered. When I told my girlfriend what he had said, she replied, "Yeah, I thought that too, but I didn't want to say anything and make you feel like a girly man." This is insane! Do I really look like a 16 year old female figure skater? You be the judge! Wednesday, February 27, 2002 [ 11:12 PM | Marcus Alexander Hart ] With over 132 votes cast, it seems that a consistent 70% of internet pollsters agree with Lee, and claim that I do, in fact, look like Sarah Hughes. As Sam the Eagle once said, "You people... are all... weirdos." Taking the poll into your own hands, I also received write-in votes from many of you, declaring who you think I look like, including... Actor Richard Belzer Actor Jason Schwartzman Singer Simon Gentry Actress Mayim Bialik Actor Dean Cameron ... and, of course, Milhouse. Bastards. Despite the poll, I was still happy to live in denial. What does the Internet know anyway? Then a picture appeared in my inbox that shattered all attempts at turning a blind eye to what everybody else sees. Sigh. I give up. I DO look just like Sarah Hughes. Click this and see. PS. Haha, suckers, my sister is the one who really looks like Sarah Hughes. All content © 1999-2007 misinformer.com.   Bringing you Olympic gold.