Engrish.com
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Mr. Johnny Usohappyaku
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It's hard to believe the Engrish masquerading as real English over in Japan. It can be seen on signs, people's jackets, t-shirts and shopping bags, in menus and on TV. But nowhere is it more prevalent than on the various consumer products found in convenience stores and supermarkets.
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Just because you Americans are speaking with the words that are your Engrish, that you messed up with many years from correct real Engrish of Engrand, your thinking is that you are very smart and word lucky. You are many times over dumb in your supermarket products, and that is without even to attempt to use Kanji! "Oh no! I am American white breaded ferrow, I cannot use Kanji to write much stupidness, where is the ABCs?" You need not venture far to find that you have a rich dumbness in the language of your own people.
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Yes, I found it - the one and only "BM" canned coffee.
Don't ask me what the ingredients are.
(Note: For those who don't know, BM stands for "Bowel Movement")
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Quickly! Run and get your behind papers of wiping! It is the soda cola made of RC!
(If you are too stupid, one thing that RC may mean is "RUNNY CRAPS!")
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Well if you're going to be coming, you might as well do it in lemon.
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It sounds rike you are not going out with that girl again, if her morning tradition is to give you the banana nut crunch, am I right.
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"Drink it - its no Biggy...."
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"Herro, I am from Texas. I have an acute understanding which states that things are better if they are big. I have been killing a dairy farm arr day, it is the time for eating potato food that is no biggy."
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What - Salmonella? Melanoma? Lou Pinella?
No, its a new disease in a can - Salatoma.
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Oh no! I am not touching Jane's sex organs, for she is diseased with the CRAMATO!
As if name not funny with a punchy of comedy of its own, Cramato is made of Tomato Cram Juice! I have never pulled a leg today! What wirr these whiteos not put in their mouths?!
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Don't gimme that Bull !
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Give me this bull! Bulls make wings sprout from your back. If you have the damaged brain of American Engrish speaker this line of reason makes sense to you!
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Yeah, but who am I supposed to poke?
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Poke your hooker, she does "trix." Can you berieve children's cereal is named for purchased sex act with rabbit?
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Caution: This gum may cause a "trickling" effect.
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Potty humor is grand and proud. Leave it to America to add magic to their twinkles.
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"Jive" canned coffee.
Funny, I never really thought of Nomo as having much "Jive" in him
(He's had his American Blues though).
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The star of grunge rock frog says, "All worthy children wirr eat cereal spun from Heroin!"
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Undoubtedly the best water on earth.
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Mayonnaise is the best food of America. Tasty, eat more Mayonnaise, fat pants.
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"Spread Beaver - Showing the Vaginal Area"
(Please no email about the Spread Beaver shirt - I know its origins.
Thanks to Graham Stratford for providing the pic)
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"Fuck Me, I'm Famous"
(Please no emair about the Fuck Me shirt - I know some crothing is worn with an intention to be humorous with sex.)
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"Calpis" - a kind of soft drink, and I don't want to know the ingredients.
(NOTE: Please no mail regarding Calpis - I know what it is!)
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"Gatorade" - A drink for athretic sports, and don't tell me what it's made of!
(NOTE: Prese no email! I know is not made of Alligators infected with the AIDS!)
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For all those who missed that cruise to Guadalajara - "Vessel in the Fog" chocolate.
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For arr those who want to give oral sex to father - "Blow Pop" candy.
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