Item Description

Why couldn't I do anything right?

Even at the time, all of the kids used to say, "Go-Bots? Those are so budget. You should get some Transformers! Transformers kick Go-Bots' ass. Haha! I said a swear!"

Now, 15 years later, I'm in the computer animation industry. Computer animators are renowned for their attraction to '80s nostalgia, toys in particular.

When they all talk about their "Ultra Magnus" and their "Constructicons" I try to act like I know what they're talking about, but they can tell. It doesn't take long until one of them gets a smarmy grin on their bastard face and says "You were a Go-Bot kid, weren't you?"

My silence seals my fate, and all of the other kids laugh at me. Even as I'm approaching my 30s.

The Transformers turned into all kinds of cool stuff. Planes, and dinosaurs, and spaceships, and stuff. The Go-Bots? Let's see... car, car, car... car... car, car, car... van, car, car.

The coolest one is a submarine, but you know what? Outside of water, a submarine just isn't that cool.

As a bonus, if you buy all of my small Go-Bots, I'll throw in this space shuttle one, whose name is, and I'm not kidding, "SPAY-C". Jesus. Even as a 9-year-old I couldn't help but think of a cat getting its ovaries whacked every time I played with this stupid thing.

I'm also throwing in this other robot who so wants to be Optimus Prime, but so isn't.

This auction also includes a hard carrying case, in which to hide your shame.

I hope that somebody buys this lot to put in their "Mistakes of the 1980s" museum, and not for their kids to play with. You can still buy Transformers, you know.

ATTENTION: The eBay community are the best friends a kid could ever have. Dozens of you have clicked on the "Ask seller a question" button, not to actually ask me a question, but just to show your support for the Go-Bots, and flame me for talking crap about them. I feel like I'm not alone anymore.

ALSO, according to eBayer wolvesbynight:
"Your 6 cars in the front combine into one large robot, Puzzler. You may want to add that to your description as it's the main attraction in this auction."

I don't know how that works, but it sounds pretty awesome! Take that Transformers!

Here's a picture that I found of Puzzler. I'll be damned. That fella does look like he's built out of those six cars. Go-Bots RULE!