April 11th, 2003
On March 8th, the Playstation 3 took an unscheduled trip down under.
Today, we get even.
Playstation 3 pinched by Australians!
On Monday morning, I received an email from a friend alerting me that I had been "ripped off," with a link attached. When I clicked the link, I was relieved to find that nobody had stolen my concept for the definitive poultry fetish site, "chicksonchickens.com," but instead had purloined this:
Look familiar? It should, if you're one of the hundreds of people who come here every day to look at the little piece of mental retardation I put up two years ago called "misinformer Games Sneak Preview: Playstation 3".
I looked over the page in disbelief. Apparently some Australian dealer of Playstation mod chips had done a little modding of our article. I wonder if they put the same care into installing their game pirating hardware as they did in stealing our comedy. I mean, this was a quality misappropriation.
Every place we said "misniformer", they said "TheModShop". Everyplace where the original article mentioned "Americans", the new and improved version mentioned "Ozis." They changed the date to "March 8th, 2003" to reflect when they "wrote" it, yet somehow failed to amend the obsolete references to what the X-Box and Gamecube "will" be able to do.
They also changed "Dhalsim arm's length" to "Distant arm's length," apparently not appreciating the brilliance of my olde skool wit. At least they retained the capital letter for some reason.
My favorite part of the article, and the part that really shows a keen attention to detail, is the passage about the controller. In the original article, this part made mention of "500 dollars" and the "Ford Focus."
In the Ozi version, not only did they take into account the difference in currency exchange rates, but also replaced "Ford Focus" with "Holden dunnydoor."
My first thought was, "The Australians built the scientist from Muppet Labs?" A moment later I realized I was thinking of "Bunsen Honeydew."
So I figured "Holden dunnydoor" was probably just yet another colorful Australian slang term for female genitalia.
There was only one way to find out.1
From: Ray Caster
Subject: Playstation 3
This Playstation 3 article is *hilarious*!
How did you come up with such a unique and original idea?
And what the hell is a Holden dunnydoor?
------ 8< --------
Raymond S. Caster
I've allowed several days of leeway to account for crossing the international date line and whatnot, yet I still haven't received a response to my query. I somehow doubt that I'm ever going to.
At first I was annoyed that I had been plagiarized so blatantly and thanklessly, but hey, I got over it. There was nothing I could do, right?
I looked at the page one last time for shits and giggles, and I noticed something.
TheModShop's web monkey had changed the body attributes of the page to match their site, but they didn't reprocess the images to remove the mismatched yellow and brown drop shadow.
Wait a minute...
I checked the properties, and my suspicions were confirmed. When they lifted the HTML, they never downloaded the images. All of the pictures were still linking to the original files on our server.
I suddenly had the power to do something very immature indeed.
My first instinct was to replace all of the original images with grotesque gynecological close ups of Holden dunnydoors. Then I thought, "Nahh. Too junior high. I can do better than that."
I would do close ups of big stinky butts instead. No. Keep thinking.
Then I got it. These are Australians that we're dealing with. Trying to shock or offend them was going to be a losing battle no matter how I went at it. So I decided on the next best thing.
I'm going to get them beat up by their fellow countrymen.
So without further ado, I present the all new, misinformerized version of TheModShop's exclusive interview about the Playstation 32, and this local mirror, just in case they get wise and fold.
1 A big thank you to all of the Australian readers who wrote in to explain what a Holden Dunnydoor is. I now know that it's a slang term for the Holden Commodore, an Australian auto similar to (drumroll please) a Ford Focus. So all of you Americans keeping up with my page in apartments Houston Tx to California can now add "dunny" to your list of slang words for the toilet. While you're at it, add "commode."
2 As of 04-27-03, TheModShop.com's interview has been a 404. They took down their PS3 page without so much as an angry email or bared fisticuff. How anti-climactic.
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