July 20th, 2003 The annual San Diego Comic-Con took place this week, and we managed to score a couple of free passes. I don't know as much about comics as I do about Japanese anime, so rather than embarrass myself by exposing my ignorance in long form, I thought I'd just throw up a few pictures with stupid captions. If anyone still comes around this ghost town of a web site, I hope you enjoy this... Comic-Con Quickie By Marcus As many of you know, I have a kind of love/hate relationship with Star Trek: Voyager. Still, I've been spending a lot of time lately wondering what ever happened to that crazy, mismatched crew after the final curtain call. Luckily I ran into Captain Janeway at Comic-Con, and she filled me in on all of the details. Turns out Tuvok is selling real estate in Sherman Oaks, and Neelix is doing 5 to 10 for aggravated assault. Remember folks, you heard it here first. We didn't get to see Halle Berry, or Robert Englund, or any of the other famous celebrities that were at the convention this weekend, but we did run into Lou Ferrigno, the actor best known for his role as "Security Guard #2" in this summer's most hilarious comedy, The Hulk. Lou was charging 20 bucks for an autograph, but the economical conventioneer can get a free picture with him by standing thirty feet behind him, and bolting after the flash goes off. This sculpture of the Terminator wasn't wearing any socks, but I found 'em! I stood here for a good ten minutes sodomizing this mannequin in every way I could think of until a bunch of representatives from the so called "Gentle Giant" studio came over and forcibly moved me to the TokyoPop booth. Just when I thought I wasn't going to take home any souvenirs from this trip, I came across those commemorative Star Trek cookie jars I've always wanted. To get at the cookies, just lift Shatner's toupee. Also, Spock's blue eyeshadow complements his uniform, showing that Vulcans are not only logical, but dead sexy. Shatner toupee joke... check! On August 15th, 2003, American cinema as we know it will be redefined by the coming of the motion picture Freddy vs. Jason. After that time, Hollywood will shut its doors and give up, realizing that the apex of the industry had been reached, and to go on would be merely a pointless charade. In the meantime, you can enjoy this picture of two dorkasses role playing. Check these out! Jason Voorhees Christmas tree lights! That settles it, this year I'm finally upgrading my tree and retiring my Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein garland. After driving all the way to San Diego, we decided we'd just keep on going until we hit the end of the country. Not long thereafter, we found ourselves in the hypnotic, urine-scented grasp of Tijuana. As the sign says, "Welcome to Tijuana: You can be arrested for immoral conduct." Two hours later I was in Mexican prison when they found out about that Schwarzenegger thing. Tijuana is a very poor city. How poor is it? It's so poor, that the local bully can't afford to throw real shoes over the power lines! I know exactly one phrase in Spanish: "No me gusta," meaning "I don't like it." At first I thought this would be a hindrance on my trip to Mexico, but then it occurred to me that I don't use a lot of other phrases on a typical day in English. Anyway, do you know what I say about a churroless churro stand? No me gusta! After the bright lights of the Way-Back Machine had been dimmed for last time, Mr. Peabody's assistant began a downward spiral that would see him taking work anywhere he could get it. Stay tuned for "Sherman," next on VH1's Where Are They Now? All content © 1999-2007 misinformer.com.   No we didn't see a donkey show. Stop asking.