Let's come on down, to 54, and find our spot out on the floor. No freaking out, please.

Some people believe that it is better to have people hate you than to have them not feel anything at all toward you. At least hate is something. I didn't feel anything when I left 54, and in my opinion, that's even worse than the rotten taste left in my brain by the likes of Jane Austen's Mafia.

As my irritated ex-roommates far and wide will tell you, I have a thing for disco. When I first heard that this movie was being made, the actual record sitting on my turntable at that very moment was A Night at Studio 54, the album that E! Entertainment Television referred to as "The worst sellout of the disco generation." When I found out that the movie starred Mike Myers and Neve Campbell, I was already there. I was sitting outside the theater with a ticket in my hand, waiting for the film to be finished and released. I figured that if the movie wasn't that good, at least the soundtrack would kick some major ass.

How could I be so wrong on so many different levels? With the exception of Blondie's Heart of Glass (My personal jukebox favorite), I thought that the musical selections on the aforementioned A Night at Studio 54 album were much better than the ones that made it into the movie. Perhaps I am a child of the '80s whose love for disco music is based only on the most bastardized superhits, but I really didn't care for the choices that were made musically to define the late '70s atmosphere of the place. To be fair, the local theater's god awful one-speaker sound system didn't do the score justice. In the opening titles where the disco music swells and the 54 logo comes flying out from the background, I remember actually thinking "In another theater, that would have probably been really cool."

I was disappointed with the movie as a whole. Obviously, I never went to the real Studio 54, as I was ten years old when the place shut down, not to mention a huge, colossal loser. All of my knowledge of Studio 54 and what it was is from specials on E! (I'm starting to get the feeling that I watch too much E!), but it is my understanding that the club was like a kind of drug-fueled Heaven-on-Earth.

I didn't get that feeling at all from the movie. I saw the drugs, but I didn't see the Heaven. It just looked like any other dirty disco with nose candy. I understand that the film's main purpose was not to glorify the club but to point out the seedy underbelly of the place and to show that even though it was a party that never stopped on the outside, it was all corrupt, lonely, and dark on the inside, etc.

I got the lonely, I didn't get the party. I would rather go to that Bloodbath Club from Blade. Now that was a rockin' place. With vampires.

Mike Myers was surprisingly good in a serious role, although whenever he laughed I couldn't help but think of Fran Drescher. And once you get me thinking about Fran Drescher, there's no going back...

Catch 54 for one dollar.

Gotta go, Talk Soup is coming on.

I liked seeing Michael York,who played Basil Exposition in Austin Powers playing, essentially, Basil Exposition. He even was talking about the "swinging '60s in London!"

I also like how the trailer led us to believe that when Mike Myers is saying, "You're just another face to her. Don't forget how replaceable you are," that the "her" to which he was referring was Neve Campbell, but he was, in fact, talking about the old lady from The Wedding Singer.